It is wonderful to sit down and examine the numbers behind our thoughts, ideas, and opinions.
Numbers, numbers, numbers. I really like numbers. I am the kind of person who does Calculus for fun at home when I am bored. (Though with four kids, a husband, a dog and a cat, I don’t get bored often.) Often people are surprised to learn I like numbers because I like reading and writing so much.Continue reading →
Support your children if you want to be a good advocate for them.
I believe everyone can succeed and be happy with the right encouragement, inspiration, and motivation. That is why I created the blog Janeane’s World. It is also why I work each day to create resources designed to help you be your best at work and home. One of those resources is this series of articles on How to Advocate for Your Children to Succeed. The book and the series recognize that one of the most important jobs and entrepreneur has is to care for her family and advocate for her children.
When it comes to advocating for your children, one of the best and most important things you can do is to support your children. It is important to note that support takes many forms. Three of the most important parts of supporting your children are:
• keeping a protective covering around your children
• teaching your children the power of positive thinking
• not allowing your children to talk badly about themselves.
Keep a protective covering around your children.
One of a parent’s most important duties is to keep a protective covering around their children. This means that your child should know what it feels to be loved and supported by relatives and friends. In each family, there are relatives who like to complain, who think no one and nothing is ever good enough for a positive or kind word. In some families, this is a grandparent, an aunt, or a cousin. It does not matter who it is, these people do not need to be near your children. Children do not have the wisdom and life experience to say to themselves, “Uncle Tom is a miserable man who never has a good word to say about anything so I can just ignore his harsh words.” Keep the Negative Neds and Nellies of your family away from your children. One of the ways we protect our children is by keeping the bad people away.
Most adults have friends who complain all the time, who never seem to have a kind word for anyone. Keep these friends away from your children. Children look at their parents and their parents’ friends with the idea that “birds of a feather flock together.” So, if you have a friend or two that are Negative Nellies, keep them away from your children. When you associate with people who are negative, who do not support your children or who do not actively work to uplift your children you give your children the message that it is okay for people not to support them, not to uplift them, and not to advocate on their behalf.
When you take your children to a relative’s house and that relative does not uplift them or who actively insults them and hurts their feelings, you are insulting your children; you are hurting your children’s feelings.What you allow others to do to your children; you do to your children. That is why you must allow your children to see that you put a protective covering around them. Your children need to see that you value their feelings more than you value the company of people who do not speak positively about and to your children. It is a popular saying in pop psychology that you train people how to treat you.
As parents, we train our children how to let people treat them by the way we let people treat them.Therefore, if you want your children to grow up thinking they deserve courtesy and respect; you must not allow your friends and family members to treat your children poorly.
One thing that goes along with providing a protective covering for our children from the Negative Neds and Negative Nellies among our family and friends is teaching our children the power of positive thinking. It is important to teach your children to start positive thinking before they get out of bed in the morning. Almost everyone has heard about affirmations and the power they have to influence outcomes. Just as affirmations are a powerful tool for adults, they are a powerful tool for children. It is important to teach your children to speak good words over themselves and their lives each day when they wake up. The words to say, the affirmations to use vary from person to person, child to child. Here are a few basic ones I taught my children:
• I am **** Davis, God loves me, I love me and I am special
• Don’t get ready, stay ready
• One monkey don’t stop no show
• Treat others how you want to be treated
• Sometimes, you have to pat your own self on the back.
Think of affirmations like a tool that your children put into their success toolkits. If your children get into the habit of saying their own positive affirmations to themselves each morning when they wake up, before they get out of bed, they will come to believe the words. It is important for your children to have positive affirmations they know by heart and believe in their hearts. It is important because these affirmations will be ready in their hearts and minds and on their lips when trials and tribulations come their way.
After you protect your children from the Negative Neds and Negative Nellies among your friends and family and know how to use the power of positive affirmations, it is time to teach your children not to bad talk themselves. This is an important step in the process of advocating for the success of your children. This is not to say your children should lie to themselves or about themselves. Indeed, it is important for your children to recognize their place in the universe. Each child should know her strengths, weaknesses, and the benefits she brings to the world. When your child knows her place in the universe, she can speak about herself using good terms and not bad.
With children, just as with adults, it sometimes takes training and practice to learn not to bad talk oneself. The following is a common example of bad talking. Jennifer receives a compliment from her teacher that her report was very good. Instead of saying thank you and moving on, Jennifer responds as follows: “I wish I had more time, I would have added more sections and better illustrations.” By responding in this way, Jennifer takes some of the shine off her accomplishment in the eyes of her teacher and in her own eyes. Incidents like this one, seemingly innocent and harmless ones, have an impact over the course of time. Just as water can wear away at a mountain over time, downgrading or making less of one’s accomplishments wears away at one’s sense of good value, good qualifications, and sense of self-worth.
Another thing children do when complimented is to remark that someone else did the thing better. Yet another response some children have when complimented is to say, “It is nothing, anyone could have done that.” Still another response that shows bad talk is when told they are pretty, smart, or talented, and the children respond, “No, I am not pretty, smart, or talented.” Children must learn not to say these bad things about themselves. It is important that children learn to accept compliments and to compliment themselves with no negative words, thoughts, and actions. Take time now to teach your children to compliment themselves. Take time now to teach your children not to insult themselves. These lessons will be valuable throughout their lives.
Never forget that anyone can be a great advocate for their children. Stay tuned for the next article in the How to Advocate for Your Children series: Teach Your Children to Advocate for Themselves.
Teach your children to appreciate your business by taking them to work with you. For many entrepreneurs, work takes up a large portion of their waking hours. Entrepreneurs with children often have to explain to their children why they are working instead of playing with their children or attending the children’s events. For entrepreneurs who must spend a lot of time at work and miss many family events it is a good idea to take your children to work from time to time.
Often the work that parents do is a mystery to their children. The children may understand on an intellectual level what it is that their parents do, but that is very different from understanding why doing that work takes so many hours. When you bring your child to work and she is able to spend the day watching what you do, how you do it and all the people involved in the process it is often an eye-opening experience for them. It is one thing to hear how hard your job is and how much you need to do at work each day, it is a different thing altogether for them to see you at work putting out fires, doing a million tasks and missing lunch due to the workload.
Even if you are a work at home person you can take your child to work with you.Show your child what you do each day. Sit where you normally sit and do what you normally do. Let your child see you make the calls, answer the emails, write proposals, do research, pay the bills and whatever else it is you do. When your child sees that you actually work at home all day and that you are not sitting in the living room watching television it will give your child a good appreciation and respect for what it is you do.
There are some business places that are not suitable for children during normal hours. In those cases, take your child into work after hours or when the business is closed so they can see the office, the machinery, the space itself. It is a powerful thing for your child to be able to see, touch and smell where you spend your time and where you get the money to support the family. It is important to make your business a real and tangible thing for your children.
The experience of taking your child to work gives the child a real sense of what work is and who you are and why you must spend time away from her to work. Another benefit of taking your children to work is that it enables them to see themselves in your position. A child who sees her mother the entrepreneur in action will believe that she can have her own business. Even if she does not take over your business or open a similar one, she will see that she can have her own business someday. That is a powerful message. After all, children believe what we say and what they see. So take the time to show your child your business.
While I have never been a traditional mommy blogger, I have always been proud to be a wife and mother who blogs. My children have always suggested article topics, sponsored posts to accept and design themes for the blog. A few months ago, my son Peyton joined the team at Janeane’s World and started giving all kinds of suggestions for improving engagement and helping readers My daughter Zahirah is now a photographer forJaneane’s World. Her twin Camille, joined the team as our official Cuteness Ambassador. Last but not least, my eldest daughter Euphoria who blogs at Black Girl Brown Sugar agreed to consult and guest post from time to time.
It is truly remarkable all that we expect from our children each day. It is important that we teach them to balance their responsibilities. For example, a child cannot stay up all night playing video games or surfing the internet and function properly at school the next day. A child cannot do household chores and neglect to do homework and succeed in school.
I recently published a book called, “How to Advocate for Your Children to Succeed.” The book explains what it means to advocate, how to do it, how to put together a team of advocates for your children and offers other reading material. If I say so myself, and I do, it is an excellent resource for parents.
Give your child a feeling that your work is not a strange foreign thing to fear. When you take your child to work you show your child that work is something real, to be proud of and to be positive about. No matter what your job is, if you talk about it as if you are happy and proud to have that work, your child will be proud that you have that work.