When You Look at Me You Don’t See Color – Your Loss!

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Often when I talk to people about race they say, “When I look at you I don’t see color.” My response to them is always the same. Aloud I say, “That is your loss, my color is beautiful.” To myself I say, “You are either unobservant or a liar.”

Noticing a person’s color is not a problem, behaving badly because of that color is a problem.

I am many things. But, first and foremost, I am black. Before anything else, I was destined to be black because both my parents are black. Next I am a woman because biology and my chromosomes. Everything after that is a matter of choice. I chose to be a Christian, a wife, a mother, an attorney, a writer, an amazing person. But it all starts with black.

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When you look at me in the photo above of course you notice my black suit jacket, the orange print on my silk blouse and the crazy orange beaded earrings. At the same time you notice my beautiful brown skin.

On Father’s Day Celebrate Ordinary Fathers – They Are Heroes

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Today, on Father’s Day, it is common for people to celebrate single mothers who say they do the job of fathers and mothers. I am not one of those celebrants. I am not taking anything away from all the single mothers who work so hard on their own to raise children and do a good job. Instead, I am saying it is not asking too much that on one day out of the 365 days in the year that we celebrate fathers, regular everyday fathers. Especially on Father’s Day, a holiday named for fathers. In my world, there are fathers who get up go to work and take care of their wives and children not out of obligation, but out of love and a desire to do so.

Let’s celebrate fathers who may  not heroes to the world, but  mean everything to their wives and children.

You don’t hear people talk about them often, but there are men who marry a woman, have children with her and then spend their lives doing everything they can to make their wives and children happy. I know they exist because I married one of them. News reports constantly talk about divorce rates and marriages that fall apart. Divorce is such a common and acceptable part of life that “Divorce Court” is one of the most popular  shows on television and its Facebook page gets an incredible amount of interaction. But, where is the “Happily Married with Kids” television show. It doesn’t exist. It is boring and unexciting so it is not on television or news reports.

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Photo Credit Wanda Fernandez Thomas of MadCris Images

Since there is no television show, big budget movie or book series, I will celebrate it here. My children and I want to give a big Father’s Day shout out to their father of 19, 12 and 8 years and my husband of 25 years.  Here  is what my children say is their favorite thing about their father.

  • he’s a good listener
  • he hangs out with me and talks to me
  • he takes me out places on my birthday
  • even though I am a vegetarian, on Fried Chicken Friday he lets me eat chicken skin

 

When you look at this list there is nothing exciting.

Power – It Doesn’t Have to Be a Bad Thing

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Robert Greene’s The 48 Laws of Power  is relied upon by many people who are looking for ways to amass and increase their power base. Some people see the book as one of the best things ever written on the subject of power. Others see the book as a look at the worse side of the desire for the acquisition of power.

Power in and of itself is not an evil thing to be feared.

Power is a word that normally evokes an emotional response in those who hear it. At the same time, many people do not have a clear idea of the definition of power. One definition of power found in New Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary is the “ability or capacity to do something,” “control or dominion or a position of control, dominion or authority,” and “a person who exercises control, influence or authority.” These definitions, in and of themselves are not inherently negative, harmful or bad. This means that neither power itself or the exercise of power should be seen as negative or something to avoid or fear.

Some people, in fact many people, have a great affinity for The 48 Laws of Power. I am not one of those people. This article is the first in a series of articles where I will be sharing other ideas on power and its application in the world of business. Whether you agree with The 48 Rules of Power or don’t there will be plenty here for you to find interesting and worthy of discussion. It is my hope that this series will help you to:

1. Have a proper appreciation for power

2. Protect yourself from those who see and use power only in a negative way

3. Realize that power can be a good thing that should be used to bring people together in the workplace rather than drive them apart

Power, like many things has a good side and a bad side so don’t let the bad side overwhelm you.

Many of The 48 Laws of Power seem good on the surface. The problem is that once you delve into them and start parsing the different sections a clear bias towards deception, lies and hurting others in order to obtain power emerges. I like power as much as the next person, but, I think you can obtain power without deceit, lies and destroying those that stand between you and the power you want. Many of the concepts found in The 48 Rules of Power are common ideas that are found in other places including The Bible, The Prince and The Art of War. These are concepts that are familiar to many people and ideas that do not make one uncomfortable on the surface.Here are the 48 Laws of Power in case you are unfamiliar with them.

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Power doesn’t have to be a dark, murky thing. Look for ways to use your power for good.

 

Here are the 48 Laws of Power in case you are unfamiliar with them.