Everyday I have the opportunity to speak with women from all across the United States as well as several other countries. These women vary in age, marital status, number of children and type of work done for a living. One thing that these women all have in common is that more often than not, they do not know how to show themselves love and appreciation. It is common for women to sacrifice for their spouses, children, parents, siblings and even their friends. These women make the sacrifices gladly, happily and without regard for repayment because of love and appreciation. They make these sacrifices all day everyday and twice on Sunday because they want to show love to those around them. Yet, these women balk at the idea of taking time to show themselves some love.
When a woman loves herself, she takes time to make sure her hair, clothes and appearance are their best, to her liking. When a woman loves herself, she takes time for herself, to get a cup of coffee with a friend or read a book, or take a luxurious bubble bath in the middle of the week. When a woman loves herself, she gives herself the company treatment on a regular basis. When a woman loves herself, she takes time to be good to herself and does not see the time as wasted, as an unnecessary indulgence or as selfish. When a woman loves herself she treats herself with love, kindness and compassion.
Take time now to look at your life. How many days do you go to bed tired, resentful and wishing you had a minute, just one minute for yourself? How many days do you go to bed wishing you had just a few minutes of peace and quiet to think, to read, to slowly sip your coffee? How many days do you wish you had simply left your spouse and kids at home after dinner and gone out on your own for a few hours? When was the last time you took a 2 hour bubble bath on a Wednesday night and left the family to fend for themselves? If you answered any of these questions in a way that made you feel sad, embarrassed or a little mad, perhaps you need to start showing yourself some love.
Once upon a time, I worked at home all day, took care of my family all night and all weekend and had no time to pay attention to myself. I was tired. I was cranky and I was mad. I was so busy helping clients and taking care of my family, that I spent no time at all taking care of myself. My husband figured out the problem before I did. He told me to get out of the house, to take some time for myself and not to feel bad about it. That is when I discovered my local Starbucks. I learned that a simple cup of coffee cost only $1.73 with tax and refills were only fifty-three cents. I learned that after 15 cups of coffee you get a green card and free refills. I learned that after 30 purchases you get a nifty gold card with your name on it. Thus began my weekly night out at Starbucks.
I would meet my husband at the door on Wednesday evenings when he came from work. I would give him a quick kiss and run out of the door. I admit, at first I felt selfish. I mean my husband worked outside the home and was tired each evening when he came home. The children needed help with homework. There was laundry to be done, dishes to wash and a million other chores around the house. At the same time, I needed the break. I needed to get out of the house and to interact with someone other than my children. So, I went to Starbucks, every Wednesday evening for weeks, for months for years. It didn’t take long for me to stop feeling bad, to enjoy the time out. I began to look forward to my Wednesday nights to myself. Sometimes I read a book. Sometimes I worked on my knitting. Sometimes I watched movies on Netflix. It didn’t matter. The important thing, is that I took time for myself. I showed myself love.
[Tweet “First, love yourself. Do not neglect yourself as you care for your spouse, children and friends.”]
The test came when it was too cold, too snowy and too icy to walk to Starbucks one Wednesday evening. I had been looking forward to the night off from work, from family and to myself. So, when my husband came home, I told him I was still taking my day off, I was just doing it at home. So, I told my husband from 6 pm until 9 pm was my time. I was taking a bubble bath with candles, a glass of wine and a good book. Then I was going to sit in bed and read a good book while I ate fruit and chocolate. The best part, I did it. The children wanted dinner. The children got into arguments and the children broke something. I did not care. I left it all alone. I left everything for my husband to handle while I enjoyed my night off and showed myself some love. Take some time today to and learn to show yourself some love. Take time for yourself. Find what it is that you need to feel loved, then go and do it.
You can find serenity in learning to love yourself first. So, the question for you this serene day is what do you do to show yourself love?
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It so important that we take care of ourselves inside and out. We as women my love ourselves as we are flaws and all. Great post!
I have actually been telling myself that a lot lately ever since my marriage went down the tubes. Love myself because no one can love me like me. 🙂
This is great advice, but it’s easier said than done! My first instinct is to put everyone else first.
Yes, it is so important to take care of yourself first. It would be so easy to slide into deep exhaustion otherwise.
I think us mamas too often forget about self care!
I am so bad at loving myself – I need to start setting time aside for myself at least for meditatiion
it is harder than you think. I try every day to remember this!
So important to love yourself. Great uplifting post!
Some of these points are so important to me. I know that I need to love myself first. Thank you!
This is such a great reminder to take care of yourself too, even though we are always thinking about the kids and husbands.
I need to remember this more often. I also work at home all day and take care of the kids and have been told that I need to get out more, just recently in fact. Which I’ve been trying to do, every Friday night my guy and I just get out just to get away.
It is so important to love yourself to be able to love others 100%. Sounds simple but this can be so hard for so many
I have always felt one must care for yourself. Then you can care for others.
What a great reminder to all of us. Often times moms forget to take care of themselves but it is so important to remember.
Ourselves are always the last person to be catered too! Great post!
It’s such a fantastic idea but oh so hard to do! I think women should read this article every day for 30 days!
Thanks for the extra dose of positivity. I know lots of people put others before themselves but self-love start will giving yourself the attention you deserve so thanks for this!
When being a mother, friend,or wife, it can be hard to put yourself first. Thanks for the beautiful and inspirational post.
One should always put themselves first when it comes to relationships. I was told that “your first love should be yourself.”
I completely agree with this. You can’t fully love others until you learn to love yourself first.
Very true – we have to remember to always love ourselves.
This is such a thought provoking post .. I agree with Robin “If you can’t love yourself , you can’t love anybody else”. It’s always beneficial to remember yourself and stay true to you .. no matter what
always love and care for yourself. great reminder
This is so true and as a mother of a teenager, we need to remind our children as well. So many things now are based on how many likes your instagram comment got, lose your worth.
What a sweet post. I am always so concerned loving others that I never think about myself.
It’s so important to love and take care of yourself. It’s not an easy lesson for everyone to learn though!
Taking care of yourself is SO important. I need to learn how to do more of that.
So true. It’s like the flight attendant saying about put your own oxygen mask on before helping anyone else.
This is SO important, and as a woman and a mom, I understand how easy it is to skimp out on yourself because you are so busy giving your everything to others. I make it a point every morning to get MY time in (whether it’s a good workout, run, whatever) and then in the evening we all have our own quiet time for about 20 minutes or so where we just BE.
In the words of RuPaul “If you can’t love yourself how the H*LL you gonna love anyone else”
This is a great post. So many people expect other people to make them feel like they are worthy. You have to have that feeling on your own. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.
My mom always told me that if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else either.