I wish we did not have to talk with our kids about police killing black people across the United States. I wish we did not have to talk with our kids about the dangers of interaction with police. I wish we did not have to give our children lessons on police interactions like the Civil Rights workers were given before going off to protests and sit-ins just so they can go to the playground. But, wishes are not reality and we have to have these conversations with police.
In African-American homes all across the country children are being given police training. Children are being drilled on these and many similar lessons:
- what to do when you see a police officer
- what to do when stopped by a police officer walking on the street
- what to do when stopped by the police when you are driving
- the tone of voice to use when talking to police
- the posture to use when talking to police
- how to memorize offers’ names and badge numbers without getting caught
- how to act as if you belong where you are
- how not to look threatening
- how not to look brave and strong
All of this in the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Lawrence Otis Graham, a famous African-American author wrote a book called “Our Kind of People” about upper-class African-American communities around the nation. I live in a community that is part of the suburb known as The Main Line outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania made the list. He is a famous author, speaker, and attorney. Not long ago he told a story about how his children were victims of racial profiling. He had mistakenly thought that giving them an elite education and their upper-class financial standing would protect them from the impact of negative racial profiling. It did not.
[Tweet “Police are supposed to protect and serve, not judge and execute.”]
When my husband and children interact with the police, a negative outcome, a deadly outcome is possible.It is a real fear, one based on history and on current events. It is a fear that is rational in fact based on life in the United States. In order to maintain their licenses doctors, lawyers, and other professionals are required to undergo continuing education on a regular basis. Police officers need to be required to undergo continuing education as well. The training they receive before being let loose to protect and serve is good, but it is not enough. They need to be trained regularly on a variety of matters including de-escalation of heated situations, conflict resolution, cultural proficiency, psychology, and sociology. This training should be mandatory, not optional.
Things should not be this way in this day in age. It is so heart wrenching to think that this is even something that we need to teach when it should just be a given to treat each other with respect and compassion.
oh man this is horrible. awareness is key. with everything that is going on at the very moment it makes you wonder are we moving forward or backwards. just horrible.
I am sorry that I have to have them and I am hopeful my children will not have to have them with their children. I do like that my kids don’t like individual people who have done something wrong to them. They do not take out what one person did on everyone of that persons race, sex, religion. It makes me happy that they understand that every group of people has bad apples but most people are good people.
These kind of stories make me furious, why do people treat others different, we are all human. It is not right that you need to have these kinds of conversations with your kids, but it is very smart of you to do so.
It would be good to give the police continuing education on things that will help them be better at their jobs like we do with other professionals. It would help them be better at their jobs and help citizens feel safer and maybe live.
Alicia, your last sentence is the scary part – you can do everything right and still be shot. That is truly scary.
I heard about that today as well. I could not believe that this had happened. I live in Wisconsin and go to Minnesota often. It’s scary to think of this happening often. Police need to get more educated.
All of these stories are so tragic. I can’t even imagine having to share them with my kids knowing that they *could* be next. So many say- oh well if they would have just listened to the cops but that is not the case. Even if you do everything right you could still be shot and that is horrible 🙁
I hadn’t heard about this story! So heartbreaking. Condolences to his family… what a tragedy.
I am happy that you and your children don’t have to pay attention to these things that are going on it the world. I am looking forward to the day my children and I can avoid watching the news and hearing about bad things like this because they don’t apply directly to us. I am hopeful that day is coming.
It is scary to worry if the person you love is going to make it home safely at the end of the day, not because of criminals, but because of police.
It is sad that we still have to have these conversations. It is sad that these conversations have to be a part of conversations from the time children are young enough to understand directions and continue all their lives.
We don’t really watch the news so my kids haven’t heard a lot about what’s going on out there. It’s so sad the world we live in.
I absolutely hate that this issue is even something that has to be discussed, period. Although I’m white, my boyfriend and father of my 2 children is black, and I worry for him every day he leaves home. It’s a terrible reality the way police are treating those of colored skin, especially when it’s absolutely unnecessary.
I heard this story when I woke up too and it made my heartache. It’s not right, and it is not fair. I hate that I have to have these conversations about these events with my kids. None of us should have to talk to our toddlers and kids about being shot or what to do in these situations. The world is a really scary place.
It is really sad this keeps happening in our country. It really is sad that discrimination still happens in our country and this day and age.
You have a beautiful family! As parents we do all we can to teach and protect our children so they grow into responsible and compassionate adults.
Training is important. It would be good for the police and for citizens for the police to receive training on a regular basis. Training that includes role playing and scenarios being re-enacted are a great idea as well.
The scariest part for me is that even if you do everything right, have a permit for the gun you carry, are a law-abiding citizen who had no arrests and convictions and obey the police, you can still end up being shot to death in front of your girlfriend and a 4 year old child.
One thing I have always done is taught my children to treat people as individuals and not as representatives of their race, religion, sex etc. I am happy to see them do that. It gives me hope.
It saddens me that this is still happening in 2016. Retraining should be a must for every law enforcement agency in my opinion.
Thus world is a crazy and rough place. I think it’s good for anyone to be prepared for lots of situations.
This should not happening. I can’t believe it still is and that families need to worry about it and learn how to interact with police with the fear of being killed. It angers me.
What happen is absolute tragedy. I think we all need to be more aware, and instead of looking at skin color make the judgment off the person. I always try to judge people by what they do in their personality and NOT skin color.