Today, on Father’s Day, it is common for people to celebrate single mothers who say they do the job of fathers and mothers. I am not one of those celebrants. I am not taking anything away from all the single mothers who work so hard on their own to raise children and do a good job. Instead, I am saying it is not asking too much that on one day out of the 365 days in the year that we celebrate fathers, regular everyday fathers. Especially on Father’s Day, a holiday named for fathers. In my world, there are fathers who get up go to work and take care of their wives and children not out of obligation, but out of love and a desire to do so.
Let’s celebrate fathers who may not heroes to the world, but mean everything to their wives and children.
You don’t hear people talk about them often, but there are some great fathers in the world. There are men who marry a woman, have children with her and then spend their lives doing everything they can to make their wives and children happy. I know they exist because I married one of them. News reports constantly talk about divorce rates and marriages that fall apart. Divorce is such a common and acceptable part of life that “Divorce Court” is one of the most popular shows on television. Its Facebook page gets an incredible amount of interaction. Where is the “Happily Married with Kids” television show? It doesn’t exist. It is boring and unexciting so it is not on television or news reports.
Since there is no television show, big budget movie, or book series I will celebrate it here. My children and I want to give a big Father’s Day shout out to their father. He has been a father for 23 years, husband of 29 years. Here is what my children say is their favorite thing about their father.
- he’s a good listener
- he hangs out with me and talks to me
- he takes me out places on my birthday
- even though I am a vegetarian, on Fried Chicken Friday he lets me eat chicken skin
When you look at this list there is nothing exciting. There are no cures for cancer and no world-changing events. But to our children, these things mean the world. These are things they treasure and that create memories that will make them happier, better-adjusted adults.
Celebrate fathers in your life who are doing their job, they need to hear it and they will appreciate it.
At our house, my husband is a big deal to us and we let him know every day. This Fathers’ Day we are dedicating this blog post to celebrating all he does for our family. Each morning when my husband leaves for work, I say loudly, as he walks out, “Have good day husband. You are so handsome. Wow, that color looks so good on you. Wow, you are so charismatic today.”
I didn’t realize that my neighbors were listening, paying attention and looking forward to this ritual. One morning one of my neighbors repeated the lines with me. Other neighbors see me and say, “Did husband leave for work yet?” “My husband would be thrilled if I sent him to work like that every morning.” “I wish my wife would say some of that to me once in a while.” I do it because I appreciate him getting up and doing his part to take care of our family. I want him to feel special and appreciated as he goes off to work.
When my husband gets home from work each day our children jump for joy. The kids hug him, kiss him and spend time with him. I am an excellent mother. I say that as a matter of fact, not as hyperbole or bragging. Yet, three of my four children say their father is their favorite parent. I don’t mind that at all. It makes me happy. It is a good thing for the children to adore their father and think he is awesome.
He is not a basketball star, not a rap mogul and not a computer tech magnate. He is an accountant and a corporate salesperson. In other words, he is a regular guy. A man like millions of other fathers all across America who love their wives and take care of their children. Fathers like him, even though they will never make the evening news, are still worthy of admiration, respect and a special holiday.
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This Father’s Day, let those who want to bash fathers bash away. You will never be able to change their minds. While they do their bashing, if you have a man at home who is a father, a plain old ordinary, everyday father, celebrate him. Take the entire day to celebrate him, cheer for him and make him feel like he is special, wonderful and worthy of praise. Fathers’ Day is coming, it is time to celebrate good, hard-working, regular fathers. Period.