You can find serenity in having compliment day with your family. Sometimes, when there is more than one child in a family, sibling rivalry occurs and the children will bicker and argue with each other. Often when that bickering and arguing occurs, it tends to drive a mother off the ledge into insanity. Or perhaps that is just at my house. I am the mother of four children ranging in age from 17 to 5. As much as it shames me to admit it, on occasion, my children bicker and argue as if they do not realize they are supposed to love one another.
Serene Sunday, spring into action, family improvements, compliments, children, sibling rivalry

photo credit: Soulfull via photopin cc

After one afternoon of breaking up one too many fights, I created compliment day at the Davis house. One day per week everyone in the family is showered with compliments by the other members of the family. We worked out the following schedule:
  • Sunday  - Dad’s day
  • Monday – Little Twin’s day
  • Tuesday – day off used for emergencies or if someone needs extra
  • Wednesday –  Big Twin’s day
  • Thursday – My Son, my son my golden one’s day
  • Friday – Teenie Bopper’s day
  • Saturday – Mom’s day
By dividing up the week in this manner, everyone gets a day to be treated to compliments and no one has to wait more than a week to be a recipient of the good stuff. The original plan was for the compliments to be given out spontaneously by everyone in the family. What things evolved to was compliments only being given out when mom says so, at meals and when the recipient of the day asks. The person who is receiving compliments has the right to request compliments whenever desired and whoever is asked does not have the power to refuse.

This system has been working out remarkably well for our family. It is easy to apply and can be followed by any family. Human beings are social creatures who need to be loved, cared for and appreciated for who they are. When a person is the recipient of kind words, true words, genuine compliments, that person cannot help but feel good. I know many people who go days, weeks, months and in some cases years without ever receiving a true and kind compliments from another person. My children are blessed and fortunate because they will grow up knowing that they are loved and worthy of good and kind words.

Think about it for a moment. How would you feel if you knew that one day per week you were guaranteed to receive kindness and praise from those around you? Would this make you feel better? While sitting and receiving the compliments, would you chest rise, your shoulders pull back and your head raise a little?  It is a good application of the Golden Rule. The children learned that if they give good compliments, the others will give them good compliments. At the same time, if they give out stinky compliments, they get some pretty stinky compliments in return. The following are a few of the stinky compliments:

  • you eat your dinner every day
  • you are smart for a boy
  • you have three pretty shirts
Here are a few of the good compliments:
  • you are the rainbow
  • you are the best  sister
  • you are my big brother hero
  • you always make me smile
  • I knew when I was born and I first met you that you would love me forever
Serene Sunday, spring into action, family improvements, compliments, children, sibling rivalry

Photo Credit: Janeane Davis,serene Sunday, compliment day

I have come to enjoy my compliment day. As a mom, there are so many times when my children take me for granted and think my contributions to the family are small and not worthy of note. However, on Saturday when it is my compliment day I feel really good. I am often amazed at the quality of compliments I receive. The last one in the good list above came from my Little Twin. I must admit, my little one has GAME, big time.

In conclusion, you can find serenity in having your family members compliment each other. So, the question for you this  serene day is, when was the last time your family members spent time complimenting one another?
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29 Comments

  1. Girl, this is awesome!!! I am going to have compliment day with myself everyday in the mirror LOL and when others come over, I’ll throw out some compliments for them too…oooooohhhh this is so fun! :-)

  2. My 5 and 11 year old are at it almost non-stop these days – I love this idea and will have to see the best way to implement in our household! Family is our learning base for life – where we learn how to cooperate, negotiate and so much more. Showering one another with love and kind words is a great thing and often neglected in the hustle and bustle of life. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Janeane you are a genius! We have those few days where the fighting is non-stop, even between us and the kids, so compliment days would be awesome! We’ll have to implement this immediately.

    • It has been working well for us. When the kids start not getting along I remind them it is ****’s compliment day and tell everyone to star with the compliments. Please let me know how this works out for your family.

  4. This is a lovely idea, Janeane! We are absolutely going to implement it for our little family. Of course, we are loving and kind to each other always, but this intentional complimenting program is a great way to take it to another level!

    • I am glad you have a family that is always loving and kind. My kids have had arguments over looking at each other, breathing and laughing at jokes. Compliment day has been a life saver and helped teach and practice kindness.

  5. Janeane, what an awesome idea! I am the mother of two girls (a tween and a preschooler) and there are moments when the bickering seems to be non-stop, and over the silliest of things, ‘she’s singing my favorite song, she’s not allowed to sing a song I like because she doesn’t sing it right’. For my husband & I, we are the youngest in our respective families; and having grown up a great deal of time with the older siblings out of the house – we watch their interactions often like we were at a zoo.

    Every once in a while when one will enter the room I will applaud, & tell them how great they are are. They blush & think Mommy is silly, but I do tell them that they are worthy of such applause and that they are wonderful, special and loved by God. So I think tomorrow will be a good day to introduce compliment day in our household, that should help with the bickering moments, I hope.

  6. This is such an awesome idea! It’s only 2 of us but we need to learn the value of sharing the good in each other vs. the bad. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Wow that is Awesome! Taking notes! I always try to give out compliments not because I am looking for one in return but because I know how I feel when I get one and …everyone should feel that way … after reading the little twins compliment I have to up my game!

  8. I LOVE this Janeane! I don’t have children yet but would love to incorporate this. LOL @ learning about stinky compliments like “you are smart for a boy”.

  9. Your positive words will have a positive impact on your children fit the rest of their lifetimes!

  10. I love love love the last compliment. Makes me all teary eyed. It encapsulates that perfect un-ending love of a parent.

  11. What a great plan! I try to remember to compliment my kids and hubby often but it’s so easy to forget! I bet this does great things for sibling love too!

  12. I love this idea. I will institute it in my family, too. Thanks for sharing. We could all use some compliments from time to time.
    Estelle

  13. What a sweet idea! Love it and am going to consider incorporating it once the boys are a bit more verbal!

  14. Hey Janeanne, I like to encourage compliments in my home too. I never though to make it something planned but I love the idea. I often tell my family (and try to live it) you can build someone up with your words or tear them down. Which one are you going to do? This was a super post ad hopefully will get people to thinking more intentionally about what they say to others.

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