Creating Confidence 5 Day Challenge
Create all The Confidence You Need Before You Get Out of Bed
By Janeane Davis, J.D.
Day 3: How to Portray Confidence When You Don’t Feel Confident
Day 1 Get Dressed with Confidence Before You Get Out of Bed
Day 2 How to Define Confidence and Happiness in Your Life
Day 3 How to Portray Confidence When You Don’t Feel Confident
Day 4 How to Create the Confidence You Want
Day 5 Being Confident Through the Week
Welcome to Day Three of the Creating Confidence 5 Day Challenge. I believe that everyone can succeed and be happy with the right encouragement inspiration, and motivation. That is why I created the blogs Janeane’s World and Blogging Bookkeeper. It is also why I work each day to create resources designed to encourage, inspire, and motivate you to be your best work and home. Confidence encourages inspires, and motivates us to do and be better. Thus, the idea for this Creating Confidence 5 Day Challenge.
This challenge consists of two parts. The first part is a message that will help you create the confidence you need to do anything you want. The second part is a homework assignment that will help you start increasing your confidence. So, let’s get started talking about what to do when you don’t feel confident but need to act with confidence.
There will be times when you don’t feel confident and nothing you do helps you to feel confident. Yet, you are about to undertake an activity that requires you to be confident, a situation that demands you put a confident foot forward. There are things you can do at those times to increase your feelings of confidence or create confidence where it does not exist. Here are a few tried and true confidence building tips:
Act Successful in Dress and Outer Attitude
Believe Your Own Hype
Know Your Place in the Universe
Get a Cheering Section
When you reach out and help other people your confidence is boosted. You can only help others if you have the ability, knowledge, and competence to do a thing. When you help another person, you are sharing your knowledge, skills, and expertise. Being recognized for your knowledge, skill, and competence is a confidence booster.
Act confidently in dress and attitude
Most people have heard the expression, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” A similar idea works when it comes to confidence. The idea is to “act like the confident woman you want to be.” If you do not have the confidence you want yet, think about a woman you have encountered who is confident. Think about how she dresses, how she walks, how she talks, the way she carries her purse, even the way she stands. Model your behavior after that confident woman.
Believe Your Own Hype
There is power in words. Words have power, so create some powerful words of your own. Start a journal of good things you have done. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It can be a simple spiral notebook, a beautifully engraved volume or a document on your smart phone. The important thing is not the vessel, but the words. Don’t wait for magnificent things, to happen to put in your journal. Start with whatever good thing happens, even if it seems like a small thing at the time. For example, simply say:
“The family dinner was good.”
” I completed a work assignment on time. ”
“All the laundry is done ahead of schedule.”
” My proposal for new business was accepted at work. ”
After a while, when you are more confident and have made a habit of keeping a list of good things that happen each day and that list may look like this:
“I made an awesome family dinner.”
“I completed a high-quality work assignment on time.”
“I did all the laundry ahead of schedule.”
“My proposal for new business was accepted at work and my boss was impressed.”
Start keeping track of the good things you do. When you need confidence and it is nowhere to be found, reading your list slowly and aloud. As you look at the good things you have done, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. You will feel and think positively about yourself. You will believe your own hype and start to feel confident.
Know your place in the universe
Often people do not have confidence in themselves because they do not truly know and appreciate their place in the universe. Sometimes, when you talk with a woman who lacks confidence she thinks she is less attractive, less intelligent or less skilled than is true. Often such a woman will say she is the worst employee at her place of employment. She will claim that all the mothers at her children’s school are better organized and in better physical shape. She will claim she is the worst business woman she has ever met. More likely than not, none of these things are true. Most likely, she is somewhere between the worst and the best in each of the categories. She simply does not know her place in the universe.
When you know and appreciate your place in the universe you know that while you may not be the best in the world at a thing, you are certainly not the worst. Start looking at yourself objectively and appreciate your true place in the universe. A true understanding of your place in the universe is good for two reasons. The first is that when you know your place in the universe you will not underestimate yourself. Underestimating your place in the universe causes you to stay away from opportunities you should seek out because you are afraid you are not ready, not qualified, not good enough. Underestimating your place in the universe leads to failure when you should have had success.
It is important to know your place in the universe because that knowledge will help you to step up to take opportunities you should take. It will give you the confidence to take on challenges because you know you can rise to meet them. If you do not know your place in the universe, sit back and objectively find your place. That knowledge will enable you to have confidence that you can do what you set your mind to and that confidence will be well placed.
Get a cheering section
Most people have heard the expression, “no man is an island.” When it comes to creating confidence when you don’t feel it, teamwork really can make the dream work. Enlist a friend or two and tell them you are recruiting them to be your personal cheering section. When you call them up and use the code word “confidence boost,” it is their job to tell you that you are wonderful, amazing, powerful, strong, confident and able to do all you set your mind to.” It is their job to boost your confidence, period. They don’t have to believe it; they don’t have to want you to succeed. None of that matters. Their job is simply to do whatever they can to boost your confidence and make you feel as if you can slay dragons and make great things happen.
There are rules for these “confidence boost” calls. The first rule of the confidence call is that only confidence gets talked about during the confidence call. The second rule of the confidence call is that the call is only to last two minutes. The call needs to be 2 minutes or less so that it is not a time burden to your confidence building team. By keeping the confidence boost call to two minutes, you get the boost you need and are not stalling or keeping yourself from doing the work you should be doing.
If you do not have friends who can be trusted with this confidence boost mission, create your own confidence boost. Take out your smart phone and record a message to yourself stating that you are amazing, wonderful and more than qualified to do these great things you want to do. If you don’t know what to say, start with this script and then adjust it as you see fit.
“Hey lady! You are so amazing. I am so happy to be you. You are so ready and equipped to do this thing. It is going to be wonderful to step back six months from now and see how far you have come and what you have accomplished. It may be a little hard right now, but you can do this. Heck, you are doing it. You are meant to do this thing!”
Your homework for today is:
1. Go through your closet and pick out a Creating Confidence outfit. This is an outfit that makes you look and feel great. When you need to feel confident, wear this outfit or think about how you look and feel in it.
2. Get a Creating Confidence Journal and start keeping a list of the things you do well
3. Select two people who will be your Creating Confidence cheering section
Tune in tomorrow for Day Two of the Creating Confidence 5 Day Challenge.