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Categories: Take Action Now

It is Better to Control the Flow Than to Go with the Flow


It is important to take action now so that you control the flow in your life rather than being forced to go with the flow.

It all boils down to who you want to be in control of your life. Do you want to control your life or do you want someone else to control your life? In my world, I prefer to be in control of my life. After all, it is MY life, so I should be the person who controls it. When we are young our parents control our lives. When we are at work, we are under the control of managers, supervisors, and business owners. There comes a point in every person’s life where she must stand up and take control of her own life.

Choose what kind of life you want to lead.

Go with the flow.

In life we either set the pace for the race we run or someone else sets the pace. If you want to succeed, you must learn to control the flow.  It is easy to think that going with the flow is a good thing. It even sounds nice, “go with the flow.” It gives a visual of floating on gentle waves in the ocean. The image is peaceful and calm. It is a seductive image. Going with the flow sounds like it is the right thing to do. On the surface,  it seems to make sense to go with the flow and to be like water.


In other words, when you go with the flow you are a go along to get along type of person. When everyone is taking Class ABC, you take class ABC. When everyone is buying this new software package, you buy that software package. It doesn’t matter that the software you were currently using works perfectly for you, everyone else has moved on, so you move on. Now you have learning curves, lost information in the transfer, and numerous other problems.

You may think that it is better to go with the flow. It seems easier than controlling the flow. However, this is a case where looks are deceiving.  The problem with going with the flow is that you don’t control the stream. You have no choice in how it flows. When the ocean wants the tide to come in, it comes in. No matter how much you want the tide to be out, you have no say in the matter. You may want to go left, but if the tide is pulling to the right, you will be going right. Stop going with the flow everyone else has set. This is your life, not a group project.

Steer the ship.

When you imagine controlling the flow, a different vision comes to mind. The vision that comes to mind is a captain at the helm of a ship. In my mind, the captain has a bit of sweat on her furrowed brow. She is not relaxed at all. There is obviously a lot on her mind. She is making weighing the odds, making decisions, and evaluating the consequences.

When things go her way, she is satisfied. Her hard work and decision making have paid off. When thigs do not go her way, she is disappointed, but not defeated. She evaluates things and makes new decisions. This captain is controlling the flow of things and she likes it.


When you steer the ship that is your life, you will get what you want. This doesn’t mean that everything will be easy. Life will not be all sunshine and roses just because you are steering the ship. You have to work to get what you want. The difference is that when you are steering the ship, you are working towards what you want rather than working towards what someone else wants to happen.


Let today be the day that you control the flow in your life. It is important to control the flow in your life because you are an adult. You should be in control of your life. So show up like a grown-up. Take charge and steer the ship that is your life. So, the question for you this magnificent day is who steers the ship of your life?

Janeane Davis

View Comments

  • Such a great reminder! I needed to hear this right now.

  • It is all in His hands. I just pray and turn it over to God and then go with where He leads me.

  • I needed to read this and be reminded that regardless of what is happening in the world, I choose to remain in control of my life and actions.

  • This is a great reminder. I know that many people go with the flow. I personally try to control every aspect in my life.

  • It's a beautiful way to think. I am so agree with you. We need to control our life!

  • This is so true! Sometimes I noticed that I choose to go with the flow because I’m too scared to try to steer my life in the right direction. But recently, I’ve been trying to cut that habit out and be in control of my life.

  • It might take some extra effort and patience, but you are so right. The flow can sometimes be wildly off point.

  • Thank you for this! I’ve made some big changes in my life and today I’m feeling a bit like I’m just along for the ride. I needed to hear this!

  • I like this strategy and at times I find myself on both sides of things, in my marriage especially. We have found a perfect balance of this and in life we help eachother be the controller of our desires.

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