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Categories: Family

Sensational Saturday – Go to Starbucks – Save Your Marriage

Sensational Saturday – it is sensational to escape your family at Starbucks.

Each Sensational Saturday throughout the month of October has been dedicated to sharing some of the best marital advice I have gotten from friends. I have been happily married for 22 years and I have to admit that it is in part due to advice I got from some people who were close to me.  I have already shared advice I received dealing with giving my  spouse something real at home, never going to bed angry and beating him to the car door. Today, the final article in the marital advice series deals with advice I got from my husband to go to Starbucks.
photo credit: tripu via photopin cc
Over the course of the past 20 odd years, I have had numerous people give me advice on how to make marriage work. Some of the advice has been from people who made it work themselves. When those people give me advice, I listen. I may not always take the advice, but it is nice to hear from someone who is doing a thing right tell you how to make it work in your life. In addition, I get  an incredible amount of marital advice  from people who never made a marriage work themselves. I always find that advice particularly interesting. I listen because they may have something to teach me, but to be honest, I am suspect of their advice.
One of my favorite pieces of advice I got on how to keep marriage working came from my husband. His advice, “Get out of the house and go to Starbucks.”  I was having a particularly hard day and the children and my husband were getting on my nerves by just breathing. I needed a break. Darren said to me, “Get out, go to Starbucks and don’t come back for at least three hours.” I took his advice, I walked the three and one half blocks from my house to Starbucks. I took my computer and some money and stayed away for three hours.
While at Starbucks, I surfed the internet, drank a cup of  coffee and enjoyed my own company.  Since that day, I have made going to Starbucks for two hours each week  a regular weekly routine. I go and get a plain cup of coffee for $1.75 including tax and unlimited refills. It is not a lot of money, so there is no sacrifice to my family. The time spent at Starbucks is like recharging a battery. When I arrive back home, I am always calm and enjoy being back with my family. This is not to say something trite like “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” After all, my heart if quite fond enough. In my case, absence makes my heart grow calmer and more relaxed.
The time away relaxing and not having to deal with the family spats, homework and chores for a few hours helps me to come home ready to be a better wife and mother. Perhaps the true beauty of Darren’s advice is that a little mini – vacation, even at the local Starbucks can make one feel refreshed and invigorated.  When I come home and I see that Darren has fed the children, the chores are done and the children are ready for bed, I am filled with love and appreciation. I come home grateful for the break and as a result ready to be a better wife to my husband.
As the Sensational Saturday series, “Best Marital Advice”series has shown, great marital advice can come from a variety of sources. I have gotten great advice from my grandmother -in-law to be, a counselor, a friend and even my husband. So, the question for you this Sensational Saturday is where is the most surprising place from which good marital advice has come?
Janeane Davis

View Comments

  • I enjoy reading write-up. Hope i can discover a lot more articles like this one. Thanks for posting.

    • I am glad you liked the article. Please feel free to stop back more often for articles like this one. Also, stop by my Facebook page Shades of Social Media which is always full of articles like this one by a variety of authors.

  • This is such a great article and such a simple but important reminder. As moms, we all know it's a challenge to carve out some time for ourselves. But we need to remember that we can't feel guilty for wanting to be a better wife and mother. Thanks for sharing Janeane!

    • Christine, I am glad you liked the article. You are so right, we need to stop feeling guilty for wanting to just breathe!

  • I am not married yet but I have heard a few words of advice... 'when you get married you'll want to do everything and then some for your husband, don't. He'll come to expect it and once you start having kids it'll get to be too much.

    • As a newly wed, I was only 23 and it was fun to be with Darren all day everyday. I worked, went to college and was married. As I grew older and had children, I got more responsibilities and more obligations. Children need attention, husbands need atention, etc., so the advice to get out of the house and spend time alone was good for me.

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