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Categories: Inspiration

Solving The Happy Family Mystery: The Grass Isn’t Always Greener





You can find serenity in knowing, when it comes to families, the grass is not always greener on the other side.  Often when I am out and about with my children, complete strangers will walk up to me and tell me how well-behaved my children are, how mannerly they are or how lucky I am to have them. I always smile and say thank you. I smile because it is nice to be told that my children are behaving within acceptable societal norms. I smile because the words are a compliment to the work I am doing as a mother. And sometimes, just sometimes, I smile because I know all the chaos at home that leads to the beautiful moment the person complimenting my children is now enjoying.

Want greener grass for your family? Put in the work and reap the reward.

There are many family situations similar to this one. For example:

  • a woman who is being physically abused puts smiling family photos in her work area and never complains about her abusive husband
  • a woman dealing with a child who is dying from cancer laughs at the silly games your children play and never shows jealousy about the things her child will not ever do
  • a woman whose family is having severe financial struggles shares staycation stories while you wow the crowd with stories about your latest cruise
  • a woman without sufficient food at home accepts your compliments about the weight she has lost while wondering how she will feed her children this evening.


In the book Anna Karenina Tolstoy tells us that “happy families are all the same, but each unhappy families is unhappy in its own way.” It is important to keep these words in mind when you are feeling sad or jealous about how happy or successful another family unit seems to be. You are on the outside looking in, you do not know the internal struggles of the family you think has greener grass. At the same time, you do not know about the fertilizer and mowing that family put into making their family a successful unit. For example, I have had friends marry and divorce after a few years tell me that their marriages did not work because their husbands were not as good as mine. I smile because unlike someone looking at my marriage from the outside, I am living the life. I know how much work we put into having a successful marriage. I know the arguments, the tears, the tongues that were bitten and the apologies that were given.

Put the work in and your grass will be greener also!

What if instead of being jealous of how green the grass is for another family, you paid attention to your own family and put some work into making your family better? How would things be if instead of having an affair, you put time and attention into seducing and romancing your spouse? Imagine how things would be if you stopped admiring other relationships and instead did some work to improve your attitude and to treat your family better. In all things remember that grass usually does not grow lush, green and strong without someone putting in the work to make it happen.

In conclusion, you can find serenity in knowing that when it comes to families, the grass is not always greener on the other side. So, the question for you this serene day is, what are you doing to take care of your family’s grass?
Janeane Davis

View Comments

  • so in other words, mind your own business and pay attention to what's going on in your own life; it might improve if you focus your attention on it. love it!

  • So true & we cannot compare our family to others. What looks like green grass can be weeds sprayed with fertilizer. Yes put in the work & we can have the family that we want & can be proud of. Thanks for the great article as always.

    • Thanks for stopping by. I always like when you pop in for a visit!

  • Wow! Well said Janeane. You don't know the situation of someone unless they tell you. Relationships are hard work indeed and if we put in the work we'll get there, the grass will be green!

  • It's like "mind your own business?" hehehehe. Each families are different and we all have problems in life it may be different but we all go through emotional, mental and physical distress.

  • What a fantastic reminder to be thankful for what we have! Beautifully written

  • I totally agree. We can never tell somebody how to live their lives, because we never known what's happening behind that door.

  • I sure do agree. We don't know what lies behind those smiles and laughs of other people. They may look happy, but we don't know deep within their real situation. I do agree with focusing in on our own lives and how to better improve it instead of being jealous and comparing it to others. If we want to be successful, we must work hard for it. That's so true. Thanks for sharing.

  • It's always a great feeling when people admire and sees what' you've been working hard for. You are right, it's not always greener on the other side of the fence.

  • You always have very beautiful outlook and perspective, so inspiring to read. I agree, we should focus on how to improve our situation instead of being envy to the success of others.

    • Thank you for your kind words! I am so happy that you like what you see here!

  • Trials are always part of lives. They made us stronger. The important thing in life is that we know how to handle those trials the best way possible. It's not advisable to compare our lives with other people.

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