When you realize you can influence what your children think and believe, you can find serenity. No matter what you value, there are simple ways to teach your children to share your family values.
If you frame the story correctly, your children will value what you teach them is important.
Take a look at two children’s birthday parties I attended recently with my daughters. The first party was at the child’s home. It was beautiful home with an above ground pool, an acre of land and the usual accoutrements of a $3 million home. The parents purchased bikes and scooters for the children to use during the party. They hired someone to help supervise and run the party games. The party games reminded me of Survivor and Fear Factor. There was a scavenger hunt for 24 items. The party ended with gourmet sandwiches, fruit kabobs, mixed drinks and a beautiful cake. A gift bag of delightful treasures was given to each child as a parting gift. This was all for a two hours long for a child turning 8 years old.
The second party was held at the apartment building where the child lived. The entire party was 8 girls playing in the apartment building’s outdoor pool. There was no party theme. The entire set of decorations was 4 helium balloons. The girls spent two and one half hours jumping in and out of the pool chasing each other and singing silly songs playing on the father’s smartphone. The party snacks were grapes, cheese crackers and juice boxes. The birthday girl celebrated with an ice cream cake from a local supermarket. Each girl left the party with a few dollar store treats.
Later my girls talked about the two parties. While they liked both parties, the second party was the overwhelming favorite. When I asked why I was told, “Because it wasn’t complicated. We just got to pay and have fun. We didn’t have to work hard to have fun.” My girls enjoyed the first party. They enjoyed the second party more because it emphasized what they had been taught to value – people, relationships and friendship.
The point of describing these two parties is not to say that you don’t need money to have a good time. The point is also not to say our kids are better off with only simple things. The point is that our children can have a good time based upon the way we set the stage and manage expectations.
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I love to reading this! It is important to teach good value to our kids, to inspire them to be better, wiser than us! Love your post!
I agree. Your kids follow your lead. What do you show them? What do you watch and allow them to watch?
You know, as a parent now I can look back and see how my parents raised me and we pick and choose what worked, what didn’t and adjust our parenting style to make sure our words are matching the message we are wanting to teach to our children.
So true. Children learn by example. Consistant guiding will create good values.
I love to reading this, it is important to teach good value to our kids
Leading by example is so important. Good values (and manners) start at home. Great points!
Acceptance and love for all is such a good philosophy – diversity makes the world go round.
It is important to take the time to teach our kids to be good people.
I like teaching the lessons during playtime because the children are relaxed, they have their guard down and are not expecting us to be actively teaching.
YES!!! Stuff that money can buy is nice, but not as precious as time. My children prefer hugs and attention to gifts and those two things are always readily available!
It is amazing what our children learn from just watching their parents live! I know we have to be deliberate about teaching lessons, but we also must watch what we do just walking and living.
I love the idea of using both playtime and dinner time to teach some family values. We hadn’t tried using playtime like that!
Such a great post! I’m always doing things in attempt to positively influence my daughter in following our family values.
Love this post. My husband and I were just talking the other day that our kids are becoming spoiled and that we need to teach them more about empathy and appreciation.
Such an important message. We teach in all we do, say and all we don’t say! Our kids see it all! Thanks for this reminder!
So true – we are our children’s role models. We need to take those roles seriously.
Children live what they learn.. If good values are not taught at home .. they will get it elsewhere and it might not be good
What a great contrast. I wonder what my kids would say about the differences in parties like this. I think teaching them simplicity and that “stuff” does not matter is super important.
I really like that story. No matter how big or how small you go with parties, it shows when they’re done with heart and soul. Your daughters understood!
My dad passed away this year, and so we’ve been reflecting a lot on my sister and my childhood. You know what? We had second-hand clothes, hand knitted toys and rarely a present between us. But mum and dad were always there for a fun day in the park or for bedtime stories and fun. I remember those memories more than anything else. Sounds like your kids will be doing the same as they grow up into caring, empathic adults. Good on you!
This is such a simple concept, but one that gets pushed aside, lost in all the all-consuming must-haves. Setting a good example for our children, appreciating time, people, adventure for what it is and not expecting something else is a great way to teach values.
Exactly! We have more fun when we’re out having a picnic or something than when we’re doing something that costs a ton of money!
It’s important to teach good family values. When you teach them then your children pass them on to their kids and this starts a good family line.