Being confident in life is a three-part procedure that starts before you get out of bed in the morning. First, you put on your big girl panties and decide you are a confident person. Second, you put on your fake it until you make it (with work) dress by behaving as if you are confident. Third, put on your accessories, which are the clichés that will get you pumped up and keep you going when things get hard or go wrong.
The second essential step in mentally preparing for confidence is to put on your fake it until you make it (with work) dress. Notice that I called the dress “fake it until you make it (with work)” dress. This is because you cannot simply fake it until you make it. You must put in some work or you will never make it. When you put on your fake it until you make it (with work) dress, you behave as if what you want to happen has happened already. This is similar to the idea women in business were told years ago – dress for the position you want, not the position you have.
Perhaps a story will make the point easier to understand. To illustrate this point, I will use the story of “The Little Engine that Could.” Most people have heard the story of the little engine. To make the long story short, there was a little train engine that had a big journey ahead of him. He was afraid to take such a long and arduous journey. The little engine started telling himself, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” He kept repeating those words as he rolled down the train tracks on his journey. The little engine encountered several obstacles and problems along the way. However, he never stopped going forward on the train tracks.
That little engine never stopped. No matter how hard life got, he kept moving. He kept moving forward. He kept acting as if he could complete his journey. Eventually, he came to the end of the journey and was able to say to himself, “I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could.” In other words, the little engine put on his fake it until he made it suit and was able to get the job done. He worked as if he could get his train down the tracks.
The fake it until you make it (with work) dress is a dress you see in your mind, it is similar to a suit of armor in that it is something you put on to protect yourself and get ready you for battle. It is the perfect accompaniment to your big girl panties. I advise people to fake it until they make it (with work) because experience has shown me that people can do whatever it is they want to do if they just picture themselves having accomplished the task. These people can do the thing they are afraid of, they just don’t realize it. If instead of being hesitant and afraid to move, these people would just start doing the thing they are afraid of, their confidence would be rewarded. The reward is the confidence they seek and it is found at the end of the road.
The next time you encounter something that is hard and scary, just start behaving as if you can do it. In the end, you will find that you are actually doing the thing you are afraid to do. The fake it (with work) until you make it has turned into confidence and accomplishment.
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